


Finding Timbo

by Living_Free



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Humor, Kidnapping, M/M, batfamily, finding nemo spinoff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 12:42:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16063385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Living_Free/pseuds/Living_Free
Summary: Where’s Tim?This is a question that has long plagued the Batfamily, and for once, the whole family is on the case. Meanwhile, Tim waits for his dumbass family to rescue him from the clutches of R’as Al Ghul, and lusts for Kon in the meantime.





	Finding Timbo

**Author's Note:**

> From a tumblr prompt by nitghowl1600.

Jason snuck into Tim’s bedroom, intent on finding his baby brother to give him his long awaited birthday punches. After all, seventeen was a big year, and Jason had specially polished his brass knuckles for the occasion. So far, Tim had evaded him by not being in the Batcave, the living room, the kitchen, every single Starbucks, and Dick’s room. 

Jason crept into Tim’s bedroom to find the usual devastation of the furniture that so distressed Alfred. Blankets askew, pillow on the floor, computer on, and...

Jason paused. Tim’s teddy bear was on the floor. Mr. Yumyum has been a gift from Kon-El, and Tim had always kept him safely on the bed, next to his pillow. To see the stupid stuffed toy lying bereft on the floor was...jarring. 

Suddenly, Jason saw Dick passing by. “Hey, Dick, come in here,” he said. 

Dick came in, and glanced severely at Jason’s brass knuckles. “Jason.”

“Never mind me, Dickhead, look,” he said, pointing at the bear. 

Dick gasped. “Mr. Yumyum!”

Jason nodded as the gravity of the situation sunk in. “Exactly. Mr. Yumyum on the floor, the computer left unlocked - this isn’t like him.”

“Oh, Jason,” Dick cried, wringing his hands like a distressing damsel, “what do you think happened?”

“I don’t know,” Jason said seriously. “The only way we can find out is by finding Timbo.”

***

“Tim!”

“Timmy!”

“Timbo!”

“Drake!”

“Master Timothy!”

“Ex-boyfriend who didn’t deserve me!”

“Love bug!”

The occupants of Wayne Manor, plus Kon, were engaged in a frantic search for their little lost Robin. Upon seeing Mr. Yumyum on the floor, Kon had gasped tearily, and had immediately declared that something was wrong. 

“Tim wouldn’t treat Mr. Yumyum that way,” Kon had said. “Something is definitely wrong.”

“Oh, Jay,” Dick said tearfully, “what if Timmy forgot to take his meds and has gone off again? You know how he gets when he’s overly anxious-“

“Calm yourself, Grayson,” Damian said, attaching himself to Dick’s hip and offered him a hanky, “I am certain that we will retrieve Drake from wherever he has seen fit to hide himself.”

“If he has hidden,” Bruce rumbled thoughtfully. “He may have been forcibly taken.”

Dick started to cry in earnest, and Damian, prince that he was, stepped viciously on Bruce’s toes. “Silence, Father! Your incessant negativity has disturbed Grayson!”

“Check...security feeds,” Cassandra said worriedly. 

Suddenly, Jason helped and rushed back into Tim’s room, emerging with his laptop. “Tim’s screen was on! He might have turned on his webcam!”

“Clever bird,” Bruce said approvingly, and they all leaned in to watch the latest recording. 

The scene started with Tim seated on the bed, and looked up as a hand rapped on his window. “Just a sec, Kon,” Tim said brightly, and opened the window, only to reveal-

“R’as Al Ghul!” Dick gasped, and Damian swore. 

Tim and R’as tussled, fighting bitterly. Tim struggled in the stronger man’s grip, and very deliberately, knocked Mr. Yumyum to the floor. He then cast a desperate glance at the webcam, making definitive eye contact. Then, R’as has leapt out of the window, Tim in his clutches.

After a beat, Dick burst into furious sobs. Damian startled and set about dabbing Dick’s wet cheeks and cussing out his grandfather in rather crude terms in Arabic. Kon clutched his chest. 

“My sweet corncob,” he whispered in horror. “I’ll find him!”

“You can’t,” Bruce said, flustered. “R’as would have sheilded Tim’s cell with lead. You can’t track him.”

“We don’t even know where that old shitbag is squirreled away,” Jason groaned frustratedly. 

“I kill him,” Cassandra vowed. 

“Count me in,” Stephanie seethed. “Nobody touches our Timbit and gets away with it.”

Kon stood up. “I don’t care. I’m going to find my little pie crust and bring him back! Our love is strong enough to help me find him!”

“Or,” Damian suggested, “we could ask Mother, and she could tell us where Drake is being kept.”

Everyone stilled and stared at Damian. “She’ll want something in return,” Bruce said slowly. 

“Who cares!?” Dick shrieked. “Nothing is worth more than Timmy’s safety!”

“Ditto to that,” Jason said. “Damian, call your mom. Tell her that I’m willing to offer my body.”

“Disgusting, Todd! As though your peasant like body would ever appeal to my Mother’s refined tastes!”

Jason hid a gloating smile. If only he knew. Dick’s eyes were popping with silent warning, though, so Jason swallowed his cherished secret till a later date. 

“Just call her,” Kon said. “Whatever needs to be done, we’ll do it.”

Damian nodded and dialed. “Mother, it is I,” Damian said after a few seconds. He quickly pressed speakerphone and laid the phone on the table.

“My Little Beloved,” Talia’s rich, dulcet tones came out of the phone. “I thought that you might call.”

“Mother, grandfather has abducted Drake. We must rescue him, or Grayson will cry himself into a state of dehydration!”

Talia sighed heavily. “Your Timothy is indeed with R’as,” she said. “Apparently, his latest plan for making him the heir to the empire is to brainwash Timothy over time.”

“Drake’s skull is very thick,” Damian said. “He is bound to resist such tactics. Do you know where he is?”

“My spies tell me that R’as has kept Timothy in the old palace,” Talia replied. “In our old rooms.”

Damian gasped. “So he truly seeks to replace us, Mother?”

“Indeed,” Talia said darkly. “But do not fret, my Brilliant Gem, I will establish my own empire for you to succeed me.”

“You don’t have to do that, Mother,” Damian said. “I think I should continue to be Robin, and then the Bat. After all, Father is aging rapidly.”

“Hey-“

“How wise of you, my Sweet Nectarine,” Talia purred. “I do hope that you disrupt my father’s plans. Now, bid me farewell in your sweet way.”

Damian blushed furiously, but quickly whispered, “Goodbye mama, I love you more than the sun and stars.” As soon as the call was cut, Damian looked up at Dick, “But I cherish our bond more than the sun, and stars, and every celestial body in the sky.”

Dick giggled wetly and lifted Damian into his lap, where the boy settled happily. Jason gagged dramatically. “Hey cuddlebug, you mind telling us where your old palace is? We’ve got a Tim to find.”

Damian nodded and started to give everyone a schematic of his old palace. Before long, Tim would be back in their midst.

***

Meanwhile, in R’as Al Ghul’s lair....

“Are you hoping that I’m going to get Stockholm Shnddome or something?” Tim asked, as R’as leered at him through the bars of his window.

“So clever, my young heir,” R’as crooned. “Now, why don’t you change out of that ratty hoodie into something more befitting for my young prince?”

“Like that sheer belly dancer outfit?” Tim asked, pointing at the translucent green outfit on the plush bed. “Isn’t that Talia’s?”

“I don’t have anything else royal enough, and you won’t fit into my clothes” R’as said, annoyed, then perked up. “Your clothes are encrusted with blood and mud. You’re going to have to change sometime.”

Tim sighed, knowing that R’as was right. He was already itchy. “Ok, fine. But you can’t look when I change.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Little Gem,” R’as beamed, and left, humming a jaunty tune. 

Tim changed, and hoped that his idiot family would discover his abductor from his webcam video history. He couldn’t have made it easier for them, but sometimes, they were really, supremely, dumb. 

Tim sighed and examined himself in the mirror. Outside, he could hear several assassins wolf whistling at him. Was this how Dick felt all the time? Steeling himself, Tim chose to forgo the jingly hip scarf and hoped the sheer vest at least covered his nipples, and prayed for his rescue. 

***

A harried ride in the Batjet found the family plus Kon stealthily infiltrating R’as Al Ghul’s palace. Bruce cleared his throat. “We need to come up with a plan to silently extract Tim-“

“WHERE’S TIMMY!” Dick screeched, and leapt at the nearest horde of assassins. Bruce sighed as Damian bounced after him, a katana in each hand and a smile on his face, the promise of blood fueling his tiny limbs. While Hurricane Dick and smaller Tropical Storm Damian were engaging the ninjas, Kon flew through the hideout, desperately searching for Tim. 

“How are you going to find him?” Jason asked, running to keep up with Kon. 

“I’m going to listen for his heartbeat!” Kon said. “Our love is strong, and lead shields or not, we can over come them with the power of our thirst for each other!”

“Ew,” Jason, Cass, and Steph groaned, but kept following Kon and systematically busting down doors and yelling for Tim. 

Eventually, Hurricane Dick had battled his way to the top of the castle, to the tower where Tim was being held. “Timmy!”

Inside, Tim’s ears perked up. “D-Dick?”

Kon’s heart sang with joy. “Stand back, my decaffienated dandelion! I’ll bust down the door!” Kon rammed into the door, making it fly off of its hinges, revealing a scantily clad Tim. 

“Kon, my delectable darling!”

“Tim, my petit pretzel!”

“My muscular mango!”

“My cherished cocoa bean!”

“Enough!” Bruce thundered. “Let’s get out of here.” Normally, he would have smacked Kon for openly romancing Tim, but today he could care less. They had found him, safe and whole, and still slightly strange. 

“You’re not going anywhere with my little heir,” R’as Al Ghul said from the door, unsheathing his blades. “Prepare to-“

Jason shot him in the leg, and then in the other leg, for good measure. “That’s for making me come all the way out to the desert!” He said. “My skin gets so flaky, urgh.”

“Don’t worry, Little Wing, I’ll moisturize your little face!”

“Get your little love digits away from my face, Dickhead,” Jason threatened, and ran back to the jet. 

Kon scooped Tim into his arms in a bridal carry and floated out, while Bruce carried Cass and Steph out from where they had been stepping on R’as twitching body. 

Damian glanced around his old chambers, found his baby blanket, and made off with it. Dick saw the open cupboard full of Talia’s more risquè clothes, and pinched a blue, sheer, outfit. He was sure she wouldn’t mind. She was nice that way.

***

Tim was back at Wayne Manor, where he belonged, safe and warm in the embrace of Kon’s strong, loving, arms. But only for a short while, before Bruce told Kon to go home, and Tim was transferred to Bruce’s strong, loving, arms. 

Jason ended up needed Dick’s moisturizer after all, and was now being subjected to a full facial by a deliriously happy Dick, while Damian recited a blow-by-blow account of how he had felled the assassins in the palace. 

Cass and Steph had been recruited by Dick to give Jason a manicure - “Your hands are so calloused, Little Wing!” “Fuck off, Dick!”. 

Tim observed his family from the warmth of Bruce’s dadly embrace. Everything was just as it should be. 

***

“Hey, Bruce, can Kon visit?”

“No, he visited for a whole hour yesterday.”

“He was saving me, though.”

“Back in my day, a good Rescue would tide us through for months. Stop being thirsty, son, and go and play outside.”

“Aw.”

***


End file.
